Yesterday, we talked about cover letters, outlines, and synopses. Today we’re getting to one of the most important parts of a proposal. THE SAMPLE CHAPTERS.  Here’s where you’re going to prove your worth.  And for series writing, it’s not necessarily about flaunting your style of writing, it’s about showing that you know how  to write in the style of the series.   This means that if you’re a highly literary writer, you might have to adjust your way of doing things to fit the commercial market, and vice versa. You will find the most popular series books for teens on the shelves today tend to use varying degrees of commercial writing.  (Middle grade books have more literary series books because these kids will eat up everything.)  But anyway, teens series books are usually fun and fast reads that’ll target mass consumers at a cheaper price. This also explains why many of these books are popular in paperback form.

Now … let’s figure out how we go about determining the style of a series. Here’s what you do. You crack open several books in the series and study them closely. You can also compare them to other series books to discern the key differences.

Let’s look at a few books from different series so I can show you how the styles differ.

From THE IT GIRL series, created by Cecily von Ziegesar:

Somebody’s plaid Jack Spade duffle slammed into Jenny Humphrey’s shin and jerked her out of a dream. The 10 A.M. Amtrak Empire Service to Rhinecliff, New York, had stopped in Poughkeepsie, and a tall, twentyish, stubbly chinned boy in dawk brown square Paul Smith glasses and a Decemeberist t-shirt was standing over her.

What’s striking about this sample? Let’s point out a few things. A lot of adjectives for one. A lot of brand-name dropping. And some very long sentences. Note third person.

From the A-LIST series, Zoey Dean

Anna Cabot Percy was very good at a wide variety of things: Conjugating irregular French verbs. Putting together the perfect understated outfit. Memorizing the poetry of Emily Dickinson. Ballet. Any and all forms of analytical left-brain thinking. Looking tan and gorgeous in her white racer-back Polo Ralph Lauren bathing suit. So okay. She was not without talents.  Bust as she shivered on her surfboard in the ocean at Zuma Beach, Anna realized the surfing was not going to be one of them.

Here you’ll notice that the writing is descriptive in a different way. The opening is a bit “artier” than the first sample, for lack of a better term.  There’s still mention of a name brand, but it’s also interesting to know that they are targeting a similar audience as the THE IT GIRL series. Both of THE IT GIRL books and the A-LIST novels are produced by Alloy Entertainment. So it’s not that surprising they are somewhat similar to each other.

Now let’s look at one more YA series.  The S.A.S.S. series. I’ll pick the opening lines from GIRL OVERBOARD by Aimee Ferris.

Marina cringed as her monstrous purple suitcase slid down the baggage ramp and landed with a sickening thud on top of a small carry-on. A petite girl standing next to Marina wailed in dismay.

In this one, we’re seeing a simply written opening. The writing is not highly stylized in any way. It’s also 3rd person.

When I researched the S.A.S.S. books, I probably read about 6 or 7 of them to figure out what was similar about the writing.  Here are some more openers from the series. From NOW AND ZEN by Linda Gerber.

Seventeen hours. That’s how long it takes to fly from Columbus, Ohio, to Narita, Japan, when you make three stops along the way. Seventeen long hours stuck on a plane with a bunch of losers. Not exactly the experience Nori had envisioned when she signed up for a summer abroad.

From GETTING THE BOOT by Peggy Guthart Strauss

Turbulence jolted Kelly Brandt out of a deep sleep as the captain announced their initial descent into Rome’s Fiumicino Airport. Almost there! She looked at the view out the airplane window, expecting a fairy-tale scene below her. Instead, the neat squares of fields looked surprisingly like the Illinois farmland they had passed over on their takeoff from O’Hare.

Starting to notice something?  Doesn’t it seem like all of these books could have been written by the same person? Do they all start out in a similar way, too? Simply. No flash.

So that’s what I had to do for my sample chapters–adapt my writing style to the S.A.S.S. series.  What do you mean by adapt? This is a sample from PARIS PAN TAKES THE DARE, coming out in June 2009.

Where should I start? The first time I felt my life hanging in the balance? Or the moment I believed the deceased had a way of talking to me? Or maybe I ought to begin with the second I walked into that school.

Looking back I should have been suspicious from day one, but now I know that if you want something bad, you’ll do anything to get it.

You’ll lie to your friends.

Steal from your family.

Eat a whole box of orange Creamsicles.

The writing is in first-person! I usually like to write in first over third. Don’t ask me why. It just comes out that way. Second, the writing is more deliberate (stylized) . There is even a somewhat direct address to the reader in the narration. If I did this for the S.A.S.S. proposal there would be no way I would have won the book. So you need to pay attention to how the series are written. Do your best to replicate the overall style and tone of the writing.

For THE GREAT CALL OF CHINA, this is the opener.

Cece and Alison flipped through a pile of jeans at Macy’s. Cece was looking for a pair to replace her worn-out boot-cuts. She needed something new and fresh for her trip to China.

So it’s not Printz-award winning material, but these books aren’t aiming for that audience. The. S.A.S.S. series is billed as fun books for teens about travel, adventure and romance. That’s what you need to deliver, not a literary masterpiece per se.

Also, I know I only talked about YA series, but you can apply the same analysis techniques to middle grade series books as well.

Yeah? So now you’ve got an idea of what to look for as you study the writing. Tomorrow, I’ll discuss even more about those sample chapters to make sure you nail that proposal.  Stay tuned!

Happy style-analyzing,

Cynthea and Snoop!

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Yesterday, we discussed what to look for when researching a children’s or teen book series. Now we’re going to talk about developing your idea for the next book into a pitchable concept.  Let’s break down what you’ll be putting together.

The Proposal

Assuming, you’ve already inquired about the guidelines from the publisher or packager, you have now reached the stage where you have been invited to submit a proposal. Or you have gotten confirmation from somewhere that the publisher or packager is accepting proposals.  Usually they will tell you what they need you to send in, but if not,  use this as your guideline.

• A cover letter
• Short plot summary and character sketches (for new characters you are introducing)
• A one-to-two page synopsis or outline of the book you propose
• Three sample chapters

What if I want to propose my own original series?

As I mentioned before, I won’t be fully addressing this topic because that has its own requirements, but you should still pay attention because you need to understand how series books are put together and pitched.

I will say though that proposing your own original series as an unpublished writer can be very, very difficult. Why? Publishers are hesitant to buy just one book from a new author. Why would they risk buying three or more?   In general, the rule of thumb is, if you are unpublished, you need to write the first book in full (to demonstrate you can write a whole book well) and sell that using normal procedures for selling a first book (see my crash course). Don’t even bother to mention the other books. Let the publisher decide if the book has enough commercial appeal to become a series.

I kinda agree with this advice, but then I kinda don’t.

I do believe that you should write that first book, over sending in just a proposal with six zillion story ideas. Yes, agree! As for mentioning other story ideas when you submit a full book? It’s not exactly necessary, but if it’s important to you to let the publisher know you have more, a line or two in the query letter won’t kill your chances. Your manuscript is what’s going to make it or break it for you. Not a small mention in your query letter.

Okay, let’s get back to the proposal now.

The cover letter

Read my article on writing a cover letter if you don’t know what this should entail.  In our scenario, you have already contacted the publisher or packager, and now you’re sending in what they need.  You’ll need a cover letter to go with your submission. If this were me, I would also add a snappy one-paragraph summary of your idea in your cover letter. Something that you might usually include in a query letter.  Why? Your one-paragraph summary (if it’s good) will help spark interest in reading the pages that come after.  Also, if the editor likes your proposal, you are helping him or her tremendously by giving them something they can use to tell others about your proposal.  These one-paragraph summaries can be excellent tools to help get your book sold!

For THE GREAT CALL OF CHINA proposal, my agent wrote the cover (usually an email telling the editor what she is sending). If you are submitting on your own, you will MAIL a letter with your proposal to the packager or publisher unless you are told to do otherwise.

Plot Summary and Character Sketches

So the cover letter will be the first thing in your proposal. The second might be a page or two of info that contains a brief plot summary, so your reader has context (once the cover letter has been chucked to the side), and some character sketches …  Here’s an example of the brief plot summary that I turned in for THE GREAT CALL OF CHINA.

Cece Charles wants to cure a case of Texas-sized boredom and a summer abroad in China is just what she needs. But going to Xi’an, China’s most historical city, isn’t only about soaking up the culture and learning new things; it’s also Cece’s chance to reconnect with her mysterious past–a past Cece’s adoptive mother had hoped would never be explored.

Of course, Cece can’t spend every moment in China looking for family she’s never known. She’s made a promise to herself: no matter what, she’ll make her visit one she’ll never forget. With all the shopping, nightlife and sites to be seen, there’s never a dull moment. But what else does the “land of kings and emperors” have in store for Cece? Is it the truth?

Or love?

Or maybe both…

Now you’ll need to tell the editor about your characters.  If the books always have the same characters, this may not be necessary.  They’ll know who the characters are; you won’t have to explain it to them. But in my case, each book in the series features a whole new cast of characters. So I tried to give the editors some flavor of who my major characters were. Some publishers or packagers may ask you to turn in more detailed sketches, but for me, I just did enough to give you a general idea of what they were like. I didn’t work out their life history or anything. Try to keep it simple if given a choice. Here’s an example of what I submitted for that part.

Character Descriptions:

Celise Charles or “Cece”, adopted 16-yr-old Chinese girl (white parents). Wavy hair, a distinctive beauty mark on her cheek. Very cute, but doesn’t totally realize it.

Edmond Charles, Cece’s supportive father, paleontologist/professor.

Sheryl Charles, Cece’s overprotective mother, sports doctor.

Jessica Ye, roommate in the program. Rich Chinese-American. Long, smooth hair. A girl used to getting her way. Born from strict Chinese-American parents.

Wow! Looking back, I really didn’t put too much info in there. You could probably stand to add a sentence or two for each one. If I were to do it all over again, I’d also make them each sound pretty interesting. Ugh! This is so dry and blah. (Seriously, do a better job than I did. This is pretty embarrassing.)

Okay, next …

A one-to-two page synopsis or outline

Some publishers might want a chapter by chapter outline, others might want just a synopsis.  If you have no real guidelines to work from, do what makes you most comfortable. But no matter what, work pretty hard on this part.  Yeah, stop groaning.  Synopses and outlines are hard, I know. But if you want to write for a series, or pitch your own series, you really have to get this stuff down.  See my article on the Anatomy of a Synopsis to help with this arduous task.

One important thing to keep in mind: your synopsis or outline is muy importanto for a proposal.  You may have heard that they don’t matter, but that is more likely to be the case when you are sending in an original manuscript. For a proposal, this will be one of the only things (aside from your sample chapters) that will demonstrate to the editor that you know how to plot. SO MAKE THIS GOOD. It should be engaging to read.

Here’s a sample of the opening paragraph of my synopsis for THE GREAT CALL OF CHINA.

CECE CHARLES needs to cure a serious case of Texas-sized boredom and a summer abroad in China is just what she needs. S.A.S.S. has partnered with a local university in Xi’an to create an international anthropology program (IAP) for high school students. Cece, who dreams of becoming an anthropologist, can’t wait to research a real dig there–the Terra Cotta Warriors and Horses, one of the world’s greatest archaeology finds–in addition to many other historic treasures Xi’an is known for such as the Bell Tower and Drums, Wild Goose Pagoda, the City Walls, and numerous tombs and shrines spanning eleven dynasties. But Cece’s protective mom SHERYL is worried. She fears her daughter will turn the trip into a quest to find her birth mother (Sheryl’s instincts are correct). But she doesn’t have the heart to stop Cece from going to China. How can she let her own insecurity get in the way of Cece’s career pursuits? And Cece’s father ED? He’s always felt Cece should know more about her adoption (he’s already shared photos with her and the location of the orphanage) but he won’t say more, especially in front of his wife …

K, looking back again, I realize now I had some doozy sentences in there. WHERE WAS SNOOP WHEN I WROTE THIS?!  So I’d edit this more for clarity. But anyway, it gives you some idea of how a synopsis might read …

If you want to do an outline, I’d avoid using the format we all learned in school with the  Is, As, abcs…. That can be hard to read and should probably be reserved for a scientific paper rather than a fiction book outline. Instead just do something as simple and easy to read as this:

Chapter 1

Blah blah blah (about a paragraph per chapter)

Chapter 2

Blah blah blah (about a paragraph per chapter)

I’m going to save the next part of the proposal (the sample chapters) for another article. There’s just so much to cover about them! So stay tuned!

Happy proposal-making,

Cynthea (and Snoop!)

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Are you curious about how authors get in on multi-author series books like S.A.S.S. Students Across the Seas?

Do you want to understand what skill set and experience is required to write for any established series?

Would you like to know how to approach a publisher to get your idea sold?

Then this is the article series for you. In the coming days, I’ll talk about how to get started writing for a series based upon my own experience with S.A.S.S: THE GREAT CALL OF CHINA.  We’ll look at the process in-depth and I’ll share the techniques I used to get in.

For this first article, we’ll start from the beginning!

If you haven’t already,  read the crash course. I’ll be using terms you need to know. At the very least, refer to my glossary.

Okay, let’s get started.

Even though I am only speaking from my experience with the S.A.S.S. series, you can also apply this stuff to similar series as well … but do understand, each publisher has their own requirements and ways of going about it.  I will touch on that when I get to the appropriate spot in this article series.

Now you may ask, am I qualified to write for a series?

As with anything, you have to start somewhere. Don’t worry about this. Worry about presenting yourself in a professional manner.  Worry about writing a really great pitch (I’ll go into this when we get to that part).  If you don’t have any credentials, that usually doesn’t matter if you can demonstrate to whomever is reviewing your proposal, that you can write. The proposal you put together will help you demonstrate your skilz.  So when the time comes, knock the proposal out of the park.

Sure, some series will require that you have a body of work already, but again, you have to start somewhere.  And you shouldn’t let your non-experience stop you from going after something you want.

In my case, I did not have any prior experience writing for a series. I had nothing published. I turned in a proposal.  It did help the acquiring editor had seen another manuscript of mine. A full book. So she had some idea that I could finish a book.  She didn’t know if I could write fast enough though. I think she took some chances on me.  And that’s what you’re hoping for–that if you turn in a great proposal, they’ll take a chance on you, too.

Now that we got that out of the way, you should ask yourself this:

Why should I write for an existing series?

Here’s my answer.

• Do you want a built-in audience?
• Do you want the experience?
• Do you want an “in”?

If your answer is yes, yes, yes. Then that’s a great start.

Now respond to this.

• Are you willing to be paid on a work-for-hire basis?  This means you are paid a flat fee for the book. No royalties.  The plus side is you don’t have to worry about earning out any giant advances. You just do the job and cha-ching!, money is in the bank.  The downside is, if the book is really successful, you can forget about buyin a yacht–you’ll only get your flat fee.
• Can you accept low royalties or no royalties at all?  In some cases, the publisher may offer a royalty, but that royalty may be less than a standard royalty paid to original series books or original novels.
• Do you understand that you must  be able to capture the series’ tone and writing style to give fans what they want?
• Do you understand that you must be able to meet a tight deadline?

If your answer is yes, yes, yes, YES! That’s terrific. Now your expectations are properly set.

But what if I want to write my own original series?

You’ll want to listen to this, too, especially when I get to the part about pitching your series idea.  Though not a requirement, becoming familiar with how other serial books work may help you come up with the best ideas for your series, and guide your pitch in such a way that you sound like you know what you’re doing.

Next, you might be wondering–how can I tell which series I can write for? Some seem to be written by only one person.  But is that really true?

Okay, so here’s the deal. Many series books, even if they have the same author’s name on it, are written by different people.  Those are called ghostwritten books. Ghost writers do not receive author credit for their books.  But ghost writing is a very respectable profession and if you’re good at it, you can pay the bills, writing other people’s books.  I’m not going to go into that too much because I am not a ghost writer.  If you want to hear about a real ghost writer’s experience, you should definitely check out, http://www.scottwesterfeld.com/author/rants/ghost.htm.

To find out which series are written by people other than the original author, here’s a big hint. Open up the series book in question and see who owns the copyright. If it’s a company other than the publisher, like Alloy Entertainment for example, then you know that there are probably ghost writers writing for this series for that company.  Look up that company’s guidelines. Google away!

If you find the publisher owns the copyright, then look up the publishers guidelines online. You’ll find stuff  guidelines like these from American Girl.  If you can’t find anything online, check the CWIM. If not that, Google until your fingers are numb. Still can’t find anything? Keep reading.

If you have an agent, he or she can be a resource.

In the case of S.A.S.S., I heard about it through my agent.  Penguin had put out a call asking agents if they had any writers willing to write for the series. This practice is pretty common.  So that’s how I heard of the opportunity.  If you’re interested in writing for a series like S.A.S.S., ask your agent about it. He or she can help determine if that’s a good fit for your career. And if they think it’s a great idea, they can help you figure out if the publisher is still accepting ideas and pitches for series.

Okay, but I don’t have an agent and I STILL couldn’t find out anything about how to break into the series. Now what?

Query the publisher.  You do not need to find out who is editing the series. In fact, try not to bug them with this question.  Any slush monkey at the publisher will know whether or not they are still accepting proposals.  So mail in a brief query letter to whomever is listed in the CWIM for that publisher (see my article on writing a query letter).  Pitch the book like you are pitching your own, but make sure your savviness about the series shows in that short pitch.  Meaning, make sure your story idea is nicely aligned with the series, and not a duplicate of something they’ve already done.  Here’s an example of what you might put together for your query letter.

“Dear So-and-So,

I am very familiar with the X series, and I would like to know if you are accepting proposals.  If so, I’m including a brief summary of my idea for another book.

INSERT ONE PARAGRAPH or two … about your idea.

NEXT INSERT A BRIEF EXPLANATION OF WHY YOU MIGHT BE QUALIFIED.  See my query letter article about what is relevant and what is not.

If you are interested in a three-chapter sample and a full synopsis, an SASE is enclosed for your reply.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you.

YOU

Then wait for a reply.  Hopefully you will get one, maybe you won’t.  But there’s a very good chance that if your idea is awesome and your pitch is well-written,  AND it fits their needs, you’ll hear from them, asking for more.

This concludes the first article in this series about writing for a children’s or teen book series. Now you should know how to go about finding a series you to write for. Next, I’ll discuss how to put together a perfect pitch!

If you have any questions about something I have covered, or you’d like me to cover something in my next article tomorrow, do leave a comment.

Happy series-searching!

Cynthea (and Snoop!)

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Q: What elements make for a good hook, particularly at a story’s outset?

A: Hook is really hard to define. But here’s how I look at it (in terms of opening pages)

It’s something that draws you in.

It could be a first line.
It could be a character’s unique voice.
It could be an interesting situation on the first pages.
It could be the style in which the piece is written.
It could even be a picture above the chapter header! (Did you notice they do this in Harry Potter? Those marketing people are genius.)

Often it’s a combination of all these things.

HOOK is what draws me in. I can’t NOT flip to the next page (pardon the dbl negative). It’s a combination of unique factors that makes your work compelling.

Put it another way: if your opening pages don’t present something that feels interesting to a decent number of people, then you probably don’t have a hook.

The best way to grasp writing a hook is to find opening pages of books you love. Find the very best ones and see what they’re doing to draw YOU in. Then you’ll know if you’re opening pages can compete.

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I decided to classify this post so it applies to both PBs and longer works. If you’ve been following my Revision 9-1-1 articles, you’ve read a lot about “big” issues which crop up in manuscripts I’ve reviewed. But what’s contained in here is MORE IMPORTANT. Why? If an agent or editor senses you haven’t mastered the basics, your wonderful plot, brilliant characters, and awesome setting won’t matter. Remember how bitter and exhausted your slush-pile editor or agent might be? You could get slipped the form at page one! So watch out for these common pitfalls.

back-to-back-to-back adjectives

Yes, I will admit fantasy and historical fiction often has a very descriptive style. But this is what I mean (no matter what genre your book is)…

• Example: The tall, white, spotted dog sat on a polka-dotted straw mat.
• Solution: Examine your sentences. Might you find your sentence works just as well without a few of those adjectives? Yes, I think so. Why do adjectives irk people (including me)? They feel mechanical. Pushy. And controlling. And they can drag down your sentences. How quickly can a sentence like that be scanned without slowing your pace? Now picture four sentences like this with as many adjectives. OUCH! So pay attention! Your job is to provide TOUCHES of description, not necessarily the whole spiel. Trust your readers to have imaginations.

echo, echo, echo…

This is by far the biggest pain to correct and sometimes very hard to detect.

• Example: I looked at him. “Look, Frank. If you want to look for suspects, than you have to look here.”
• Solution: Can’t tell what’s wrong with this? Your ears need a workout then. READ YOUR MANUSCRIPTS OUT LOUD. It’s a lot easier to pick up on echoes that way. Eventually you will get so good at it, you will automatically fix them before you even write an echo down. Soon you will also learn six-thousand variants for the word look. I love the example above because I, myself, am a recovering look-aholic. A revised version of the above might be… “Look, Frank.” I picked up a book entitled BEST PLACES TO FIND SUSPECTS. “If you want to hunt someone down, this is what you read.”
• Echoes can appear between sentences, paragraphs, and pages. So don’t confine your search to the sentence itself. Read the work aloud and listen for those echoes.

serial as, when,-ing killers

• This is another variant of an echo. If you use a sentence pattern too often like AS I X’d, SHE Y’D. Or WHEN X Happened, Y happeend. Or I X’d, [INSERT VERB]+ing. It’s noticeable. You’re killing sentences with those echoes. Your reader will detect YOU. You don’t want to be detected. You want to be invisible so your reader can focus all his energy on reading your great book.
• Example: I ran to the door, panting. “It must be Tony,” I said, opening the door. But standing in front of me was Rick, holding a gun.
• Did you hear the -ing echo?
• SOLUTION: READ YOUR WORK ALOUD. AND SLOWLY. Are you noticing you love AS, WHEN, and/or -ING a bit too much? AS, WHEN, AND -ING phrases are the most abused I’ve seen in free-tiques. Learn to vary your sentence patterns. Also, don’t be afraid to use SIMPLE sentence structures. And fragments (GASP!). They are just as acceptable as more complicated structures.

bum words

Check your manuscript for words that aren’t earning their keep in your sentences.

• Examples: THAT, JUST, EVEN, Adverbs, Adjectives.
• Solution: Cut them or cut them down. Only use them when they have value in your sentence. You’ll find your writing will sound much tighter when you lose the bums. Also you might discover some of these words echo as well. If you love the word THAT and JUST, chances are, you have a thousand of them in your book. Send those bums packing!

!@#@~!–improper punctuation (or questionable punctuation)

• Classic punctuation mistakes mostly involve the comma. The most common one I’ve seen goes something like this…I ate, and went to the pool. Or…..The teacher, Mrs. Applethorn, called roll. The em dash, ellipse, semicolon and colon are also punctuation marks people can’t get a handle on.
• Solution: Brush up, people! Elements of Style is a great resource for this. You don’t want an editor or agent (trained on detecting writing faux pas) obsessing over your errant comma. If anything, you want them impressed with your ability to insert a REAL em dash in your manuscript.
• Granted, there are different standards for punctuation (especially for the comma). You can’t guess which standard the editor or agent will apply to your manuscript. So when in doubt, stick to one rule and be consistent throughout.

bad par
a
graph
ing

• This is when the paragraphs are all over the place. The author hasn’t quite worked out when to start or end a paragraph. Paragraphing dialogue seems to be problematic for many writers.
• Solution: Typically paragraphs change as speakers change and/or when the topic of discussion switches as well (like regular paragraphs). Read Self-Editing for Fiction Writers or Elements of Style. Also, examine real books if you’ve got one of those situations where a character is thinking while someone else is talking. Learn how to use paragraphing to your advantage, not to your detriment.
• Also, are all of your paragraphs GINORMOUS? What do you think an editor thinks when she sees an entire page that is only one paragraph? Long paragraphs may be a symptom of verbose or unclear writing. Tighten it up. Whack out the unnecessary. Restructure your work so the intent can be conveyed in readable bytes.

misplaced tags

• This is when the action and the dialogue are reversed. Example: “This coffee is awful.” I sipped from the mug. Wow, seems obvious, huh?
• I see this all the freaking time.
• SOLUTION: Make sure you’re paying attention to what you’ve written. Place special focus on your tags. Especially ones that are actions. See if it reads more logically when you reverse the sequence.

tag frenzy

• This is when the tags appear in every single line of dialogue. Or the tags are so distracting, it’s hard to pay attention to what is being said. What you get with too many tags is another variant of an echo. The words may not be the same but you’ll hear the “ping” and “pong” reverberating in your brain as you read it.
• Example:

I opened the can. “I was thinking about trying out of the soccer team.”

Mom emptied the dishwasher. “That’s nice, honey.”

I fed Fido. “So can we afford my uniform?”

Mom wiped her hands on a rag. “I don’t see why not.”

• SOLUTION: Space out your tags more randomly. Eliminate extras you don’t need. Watch for distraction. It takes an ear to get this right. So study real books. Learn from the masters. Read your stuff aloud until you’ve got this one down.

action fixations

• This is yet another variant of an echo. Too much of one thing calls out the writer. Do you find your characters “shrug” a lot? “Swallow” too much? “Breathe” enough for the entire population of China?
• SOLUTION: Vigilance is required again. Doing a “find” in WORD (Ctrl+F) will help you figure out if your MC swallowed only two pages ago. Watch for variants of the same action or from the same body part. I’ve noticed the “eyes” and “breathing” are very popular fixations. The “heart” is probably a close third. Again that is not to say you can’t use vital bodily functions in your book. Just don’t use them all the time. Change it up a little. Perhaps some of these actions could be substituted for unique thoughts. Left out entirely. Or changed up with a different body part?

concurrent actions which aren’t concurrent

• Once again the -ing, as, and when constructions can do some damage to your writing.
• Examples: Tripping down the steps, I landed in the bushes. Or. As I ran through the hall, I opened the door. Or. When I buckled my seatbelt, I started the engine.
• Solution: Focus on what you’re trying to say. Take a quick look at your as and when clauses. Check out those -ing participles. Did you really mean that? Don’t be afraid to lose the when or the as or the -ing. Write two independent sentences or a compound one. Or at the very least, use the correct construction. The revised examples might look like this…I tripped and landed in the bushes. OR. I ran down the hall. I opened the door. OR After I buckled my seatbelt, I started the engine.

the obvious icky stuff

• Most of you are pretty good about misspellings, so I won’t harp on it here. However, on occasion I do see oopsies on the first few pages. Granted, no one is 100-percent error free, but really work hard to make sure nothing silly like this happens, especially on those critical first pages. You don’t want the editor or agent to assume this is what the rest of the manuscript is like, do you?
• SOLUTION: Have someone help you check. Don’t trust WORD to correct all your mistakes. Watch the tricky “it’s” and “its”, “your” and “you’re”, and so on. Read your work aloud, too.

What’s the big idea?

• Mastering the basic mechanics of good fiction writing allows the editor or agent to focus on your story. It also prevents you from being rejected at Page One. Too much of something is usually not a good thing. Echoes, in particular, will call you out from the story. Thus, vigilance is required to ensure your invisibility (and your survival!). Read your work aloud. Be aware of common faux pas so you can send up the red flags when you read your own stuff. Get the help of writer friends. Finally, review your copy of Elements of Style or Self-Editing for Fiction Writers if you need to. A little awareness can go a long way.

Order WRITING FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS: A CRASH COURSE

Happy revising!

Cynthea

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I decided I would not only talk about setting but also description. Or maybe they are one in the same. Some people say setting can be as important as a character in your book. It really depends on the story, but whatever role setting plays in your novel, make sure you’re not making one of these common mistakes.

plopping

• This is when you open the book, you happily plod along with the story, and then you read three paragraphs or pages of setting before the story continues again.
• Solution: To me, setting works more successfully when it is weaved into your story. Not plopped. Some of you are chronic ploppers. I see the tendency more in historical fiction and fantasy than contemporary stuff. So if you’ve got one of those, you might want to be extra vigilant about spotting areas where the story stops for setting. (Back to back paragraphs of description is a clue). While it’s perfectly okay to establish the enviroment for your scenes, what you want to avoid is halting the story’s progression altogether. Find ways to weave the setting in snippets in the appropriate places so the pace doesn’t flag unnaturally. Flagging pace doesn’t exactly make for interesting reading (especially for kids or teens with short attention spans). The best way to learn how to weave is to study the masters. Find published books that best match your novel’s tone (same genre preferably) and see how they do it. Look at the spots where setting was mentioned. Was the character interacting with his environment? Was it incorporated into natural dialogue? Was there a descriptive sentence here and there sprinkled throughout? Weave. Don’t plop.

interior decorator at large

• This is when there’s too much setting in general. Every detail is put on the page as though I’m suddenly reading from the pages of House Beautiful.
• Solution: lose the interior decorator in you and let your reader’s own imagination work a little. Let the reader participate in fillling in the blanks. When it’s his story, too, he’ll be more comfortable in the world he’s set up, won’t he? Include only details which will “set” the scene. We don’t need to know the exact hue of every piece of furniture in the room or the wood grade used for the floors. For example, if the place is run down, you might mention peeling paint. A cock-eyed door. The cobwebs adorning the ceiling. But there’s no need to tell me about the threadbare carpet, the broken chair in the corner, the rats crawling the area, AND the rotted wood, etc., If the place is absolutely gorgeous, perhaps only one metaphor will do the trick. Or a few touches of the gentle breeze, the sea air, and footprints in the sand. Sketch the setting. Let the reader paint in his own mural.

lost in space

• This is the complete opposite of interior decorating. The setting is completely lacking. I have no idea where the characters are. So they float in space in my mind. Perhaps they are even wearing spacesuits.
• Solution: Have you rushed into dialogue? Did you find yourself working so hard to keep the reader’s attention, you forgot to mention where your characters are? Logistics can be important whenever you begin a new scene or change environments. Your reader will want to put your characters somewhere in his brain before he can really tune in to the conversation or the action that is taking place. Watch your scene changes and look for openers that don’t “set” the scene appropriately. If you’re writing contemporary fiction, look for this even more closely. I notice it a lot in modern-day stuff. If your characters are supposed to be somewhere, make sure you put them there.

jackhammering

• This is a comment about description in general. Sometimes descriptions of anything, be it character, setting, objects, etc., sound jackhammered in. As if the writer didn’t know where to put in the information. Examples might be an introduction of a character who happens to be hanging from the cliff. We learn about the sweater he’s wearing and the color of his hair. Or maybe…In the dialogue, someone says, “Johnny, are you taking Daddy’s Porcshe 911 with the V8 engine and the 22’s to the prom?”. These examples are extreme, but you get the idea. Forced in descriptions never sound right. And you’re fooling yourself if you think a reader won’t notice it.
• Solution: Read every part where you’ve described something. Ask yourself, is the detail relevant to the scene at that moment in time? Is there mental space for it given the circumstances? Does the information add to the story in any way? Or can the reader come up with whatever they like and the story will still be great? Another question: would my characters naturally say that in dialogue or thought? If the answer is no to any of this, don’t do it. Forced in descriptions put your book’s authenticity at risk. Learn when to describe and when not to. Give up some control if you must and let the reader take over on the stuff that isn’t really essential.

What’s the big idea?

• Setting and description should serve your story, not hinder it. If you find yourself writing something that feels unnatural, STOP. Create situations where the setting can be weaved. Learn how to weave by studying published works–books you’d like to be able to write yourself. If you find yourself so excited by the beautiful scenery you’ve created, ask yourself if you’ve gone overboard. Are you trying to force your exact image of something onto your reader? Is it that important for your reader to see it just like you do? Finally, whenever you’re describing anything, don’t jackhammer it in because you can’t find a better place for it. Evaluate the importance of the detail and if you don’t need it, lose it. If you do, push yourself to weave it in naturally, or risk the authenticity of your story-telling.

Read more articles in the Revision 9-1-1 series, http://www.cynthealiu.com/category/revision/.

Order WRITING FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS: A CRASH COURSE

Happy revising!

Cynthea

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Here are the typical things I encounter when I review novels, plot-wise.

story starts on page 10. Or 15. or 20.

• this is when I read the first chapter and go – well, that was a great study on character. Now where’s the story? Does your character write a diary entry on page one that’s all about a party she attended that has nothing to do with the real plot (a bank robbery) in the next entry? Are you slow to warm up that story-engine? Maybe there’s a hint of plot in the beginning but by the end of your opener, the reader still has no clear idea what sort of ride she’s going to take.
• Solution: establish both plot and character in your opening pages. Work them in at the same time. Second, setting expectations properly is vital to ensuring your book “gels” as a whole. Your opening scenes or chapters should set the tone and course of events for the story. If you start at point A in Chapter One, and end up at another point A in Chapter Two, your reader will wonder – um…where is this story going? Your goal should be to start at Point A. Move to Point B. C. And so on. If you feel like you have two point As, OR NO POINT AT ALL in Chapter One, perhaps your opening was only a warm-up for you (the writer), not the reader. If your story starts late, feel free to eliminate opening chapters and rework your “new” beginning. Your end goal is this: your reader should have a great sense of your character, the plot, and where the story might go from your opening pages.
• Note: please do not mistake this as saying you should give your plot away at the start of the book. I only ask you to BEGIN your plot in the opening pages of your book. Set the tone for the story so the reader knows what sort of journey they will be taking when they read your book.

cuh-razy openings (i.e., trying too hard)

• This is when something really tragic or fast-paced happens at the beginning of your book (as if to hook me in), but I have no idea why I should even care about your characters. This is a reversal of the slow-start. Where instead of a character exposition as an opener, I get a plot one.
• Solution: Again, character and plot should work together. Your characters provide the “why I should care” part of your story. Your plot tells me “what’s happening to the characters I care about.” If you immerse me in plot with little information about your characters, I say “so what?”. Should I be freaked someone has a knife to Billy’s throat? Do I care Joan is being chased by pit bulls? Instead, show me a little bit about your characters before you throw them into a high-action opening. A paragraph about Joan wishing the neighbor’s pitbulls won’t chase her today before she heads to school could be enough for me to understand who Joan is (maybe her voice is funny or exceedingly shy.) Maybe she lets me know: show-and-tell is today and she’s brought her mom’s outrageous yearbook. She can practically see the “oohs” and “ahhs” from her classmates as they ponder Momma’s icky hairdo. Maybe now Joan will be cool like Mary Tenuta – Mary who had brought in old photos of her Daddy’s horses. Bad Hair is way more interesting than mangy horses! (Terrible example, but you get the idea.) Now I might care when pit bulls are chasing Joan down and oh my, one of them is about to shred Mom’s yearbook!
• So be mindful of high-action scenes where the reader is only seeing plot and very little character. Don’t ask me to care if I don’t know who your characters are.

Miss Snark’s “aliens have landed in Chapter 14″

• This is when the story is moving along fine and then aliens land in Chapter 14. I credit Miss Snark for this little analogy. It seems some authors might have difficulty navigating the middle. They know the beginning and the end. But “stuff” has to happen in the middle to pass the time. Often that “stuff” doesn’t fit the book.
• Solution: did you get the sense you had to make something up to keep the middle exciting? Does the plot sort of wonder into “no man’s land”? Did you write yourself into a hole and now you can only get out if aliens show up and whisk your character to a new planet? Seriously reconsider events which end up in the zone of soap-opera land or wander too far from the driving plot. This might help identify trouble spots: summarize in one or two sentences what happens in each chapter. It’ll be easier to spot the aliens when you only have a page or two to work with. Write aliens out of your book and try to create more realistic events to get from point A to point B to point C.

repetitive events

• This is when the same thing happens over and over again. Just like characters can have redundant thoughts, plots can have redundant events.
• Solution: Identify the purpose of each scene in your book. Was this purpose identical to another scene before it? If so, can you get rid of one? Or modify the redundant scene so something else is gained from that scene? For example, if you have a friendship building between two characters – are you deepening their relationship with each new scene between the two? Or are their interactions with each other identical? If they’re similar, the reader won’t see a relationship deepening. They’ll see two people running into each other again–so what? Always give the reader something slightly new to work with. Progress the story; don’t rehash it.

non-events

• This is when nothing happens. It could be a long section of scenery description. Or a digression on the fashionability of people’s clothing.
• Solution: Look for spots where you’ve wandered off the mark. When you look at each page, ask yourself how relevant is the “essay” to your story? Cut. Cut. Cut. Or condense. Your pace stalls if nothing is going on. Which leads me to…

too much is going on

• This is when the author tries to solve world peace AND get the girl to the prom in time ALL IN ONE BOOK. There seems to be a belief out there a lot has to “happen” in your book for it to be interesting.
• Solution: my answer to this is it really depends on the kind of book you’re writing. If your book is character-driven, you don’t need to tackle THAT many events to make a story. Take Are You There God? It’s me, Margaret as an example. Was there a crime scene or a high-speed chase in this book? Did she make headlines in fifty different newspapers in the country? Did her mother die? Did anyone get into a serious car accident? No. Nothing really happens in this book except normal everyday stuff for this girl. You don’t have to take a book very far event-wise to make a good story. However, if your book is a suspense-thriller/action-adventure/murder-mystery, then stuff should happen in your book. People expect it. I have to say I haven’t read that many action-adventures for free-tiques. But it seems like I’m seeing a lot of action-adventure events in books where they don’t belong. Hmmm…a bit fishy. If your book isn’t high-action, it’s okay to go for the normal-stuff and make those everyday events interesting. I give you permission to give yourself that freedom.

separate threads, separate stories

• What’s a thread? A strand or thread could represent a relationship you are focusing on in your book. For example, the MC and her irritating friend. The MC and her love interest. The MC and a track competition she is trying to win. The threads carry the different parts of the story along. Independent threads mean the strands never come together to tell the story. The result? The book reads like two or three individual stories, not one.
• Solution: Identify your threads. Determine if these threads should twine together to make your story tighter. Some books are intentionally written such that the threads never come together. That’s fine. But if the threads should twine because in real-life they would, make sure they twine! Would the MC’s best friend know about the hot boy the MC is in love with? Would the MC and hot boy have the track competition as a common interest or not? Ask yourself: A) Would this make your story tighter? and B) Would this make your story realistic? It’s often too easy to keep threads separate because writing separate stories is simpler than combining the tiny stories together. Why? Combining threads requires you to mix the character and events together. Now you’ve got a huge balancing act on your hands. You have to know how to mix it all up (really know your characters) and have everything make sense. To me, the best stories wind the threads together. Some tightly, some loosely. But all of the threads are somehow related to form the “big story.” I, as a reader, loved to get tangled up in it all. If you need a visual: think of your plot as a Pull N’ Peel Twizzler (I love cherry!). Multiple strands come together to form one delectable treat.

broken threads, broken stories

• This is when the track competition is the center of focus in Chapter One and then the track meet is only brought forward again at the end when the MC needs to win it. Or Hot Boy only shows up in Chapter 2 and 29. Read related post, revision 9-1-1 for novels: characters.
• Solution: Watch the progression of your threads. Identify when the thread is addressed. Which chapters or pages. Is there a big gap? Can the events which address the thread be spaced out a little better? Do you need new scenes to bring the thread back into the picture? Do you just need to get rid of the thread altogether? Note: whatever you do, also examine each thread for “progression”. Something new or deeper should be offered as you develop a thread from start to end.

stream-of-consciousness story-telling

• This is when the story goes here, goes there. And it’s probably clear to the author, too, he has no idea where the story is supposed to go. The story is an idea at this point. Not a book.
• Solution: Try an outline. Even if you don’t finish the dang outline, sketching out a beginning may help you get on the right track. I highly advocate outlines for novels. THere’s just so much to juggle when writing a 150+ page book. A good outline keeps you focused and can help you see plot and character flaws even before you start writing. Saves time. Saves energy. Saves frustration. Of course, not everyone can force themselves to do this or do it well. But if you can, go for it. You’ll be glad you did.

familiar plotlines

• Let’s face it: there are only so many things you can write about if your book is based on realistic events. Even in fantasy, there are only so many unique things you can come up with that no one has ever written about before. Here’s some common things I’ve seen:

1. MC wants hot boy; hot boy turns out to be bad for her
2. MC believes best friend is best friend; best friend turns out to be bad friend
3. MC moves to a new town; he’s the new kid on the block and must find his/her place in the world

• There are many more. But does this mean you shouldn’t write these ideas into your story? No. So what should you do?
• Solution: find a unique way to write about these familiar things. The one thing every writer has going for her is that humans are individuals (as are animals, dragons, whatever). No two individuals are alike. Every reader wants to believe your characters are unique and that they deal with issues in their own special way. It is your job to deliver that. If you have a familiar situation in your book, you better make dang-sure your characters live and breathe on that page and deal with the situation in a way only those characters could. Also, you can further differentiate your story by finding a way to twist the expectation. Maybe the bad friend really isn’t bad after all. Maybe the hot boy IS GOOD for the MC. (if this is true, he really has to be a very down-to-earth character. Keep it real.) Apples to apples, you must fight the stereotypes and deliver a telling of the story that is unique.

what’s the big idea?

• Story-telling is not just about plot. Or character. These two elements should push and pull each other to move the story forward. Don’t ask me to care about your plot if I don’t care about your characters. Don’t ask me to care about your characters if nothing ever happens to them. Something “happening” also doesn’t mean you need to makes headlines or kill off someone. Everyday events count, too. (It’s your telling of everyday events that makes them interesting.) And remember, a novel is hard to write by the seat of your pants. Careful consideration should be taken when you examine your plot and the evolution of your threads. Look for continuity, progression, and ways to twine your threads if that would make your book more authentic or interesting. Outlines are great tools (written before or after the fact) to help pinpoint your trouble spots. Finally, deal with familiar plotlines by working hard on characterization and twisting the expectations if at all possible.

Read more articles in the Revision 9-1-1 series, http://www.cynthealiu.com/category/revision/.

Order WRITING FOR CHILDREN AND TEENS: A CRASH COURSE

Happy revising,

Cynthea

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Are you ready for some Revision 9-1-1? The only way to fix a problem is to…

1. Recognize you suffer from the condition
2. Identify solutions for recovery
3. Follow-through with the solutions (this would be some sort of revision–either a cut, add, or change)

What I’ve done here is laid out the most common character issues I’ve seen to date. Now it’s your job to figure out how ill you are and get on the path to recovery!

Common Character Issues

hammer-head

• Repetition of the same idea over and over again as if to make sure your reader really gets it. This might be saying a character is upset ninety different ways in the space of a few pages. Multiple symptoms lead to this diagnosis. Tags connoting the upset (e.g., shout, cried.) plus actions (stomping, slamming doors) plus thoughts. “I can’t believe this happened.” plus more thoughts. “Why me? Why me?”. Plus dialogue. “You look upset, Margie.” Now repeat eight times.
• Solution? Identify the main idea of the scene. Now count up the number of instances the idea was conveyed through action, thoughts, dialogue, tags, etc., A bit much? CUT. LESS IS MORE. Readers are perceptive. Usually you only have to convey an idea once.

severe mood-swings

• A character who’s depressed in one scene and suddenly winds up all happy in the next. Hmm…..a bit fishy
• Solution? Watch for characters’ moods as they progress through the story. Are major mood shifts motivated? If not, motivate the mood-shift for the reader (or she’ll wonder when your character started taking happy pills) and tone-down one of the emotions if you’ve gone farther than you need to

important characters who are flat or cliche

• two things I’ve noticed so far: Cliche hot boy walks on scene in chapter two. And Mama-knows-best kind of mothers. That is not to say you can’t write a hot boy or a responsible mother like Mrs. Cleaver into your book. But if either of these two characters have a thread in your plot, can you make them more interesting?
• Solution? Make hot boy and Mrs. Cleaver as real as you can. If they’re too perfect, they smell like the cliches they are. Give all your important characters “individuality”. Shows sides of supporting characters that make them as real as your main character. Sometimes just a couple of sentences can turn Hot Boy into Interesting Boy and Mrs. Cleaver into Bree from Desperate Housewives. (okay, you don’t need to go as far as Bree, but you get the idea.)

characters gone possessed

• when your characters do things that come out of nowhere, almost as if the writer is trying to get something to happen in the plot. (gasp!)
• Solution? MOTIVATE YOUR CHARACTERS. Make those motivations clear to your reader. And SPIN. SPIN. SPIN. Don’t know what Spin means? I’ll post more on that later. The main idea is create circumstances, situations, or even thoughts that would logically motivate the character to do that. If you can’t get this to work, then perhaps your plot is what is messed up, not your character. Don’t force your characters into doing things they simply wouldn’t do just because you want them to.

characters gone dumb

• when characters deliberately ignore something obvious because the writer wants to keep something secret for an extra-special surprise later.
• Solution? Motivate your characters naivety. Explain it. OR don’t do this in general. Characters who suddenly get an IQ of zero because you want them to be in the dark a little longer isn’t being fair to your book or your readers. Keep it real. If something should be staring the character right in the face, let the character face it; perhaps how she deals with the information is unexpected. Or perhaps you find another way to hook the reader that doesn’t require your star player to go all ditzy.

characters gone MIA

• this is when an important character only makes appearances when the writer wants to do a cool plot thingy. This character might be introduced in Chapter One and completely left out until Chapter Twenty-Five. (oh my!)
• Solution? Watch your characters entrances and exits. If you can’t keep track, simply list which characters are in each chapter (or page) and why they’re there. If they disappear for eons, perhaps you ought to be building some scenes with them in so the cool plot thingy you have them involved in Chapter Twenty-Five will work more naturally.

backstory dump (the old “shove-ola”)

• jamming in a bunch of stuff about the character’s life story in places that don’t have room for it. Typically happens in the first three chapters. Like when the character is in the middle of a high-speed car chase or something. It reads kind of like this. “TURN LEFT NOW!” Jason yelled to his driver. The light was green. Green like the color of Jason’s favorite fish who was back home in London where Jason wanted to be, instead of in the middle of a high-speed car chase with five cops on this tail. Oh, how Jason missed Greenie. And the pastures of his home in the country. Jason missed his bike, too. It was red with silver handlebars. “WATCH OUT FOR THE CAT!” cried Jason. The driver swerved.
• Solution? Decide how important it is to have the backstory told right then. Is it even necessary? Can you create another scene a little bit later where your character has the “mental space” to process the backstory. Has Jason just gotten to a safe place? He’s tired from his high-speed car situation and he longs for Greenie and his bike in London? Pick the right moments for backstory. And only tell the backstory necessary to understand the present story.

digression diarrhea

• this is when the character loses all focus and sits on the potty way too long to do nothing but espouse ideas about one particular topic that has seemingly nothing to do with the story.
• Solution? CUT THE DIGRESSION. Or if your character is a particularly thoughtful kind of person shorten the digression to a graph. Stay out of the story too long and your reader might be doing something else in his own potty. (Starts with a V.)

writer at the wheel

• this is when suddenly the character’s voices stop and the writer steps in to say something poetic or tries out a new metaphor or simile the character would never say himself.
• Solution? Watch every word you put on that page. If you find yourself feeling very proud of something you’ve written, that’s a signal something could be wrong. (ha!) STOP. Ask yourself, would my characters really talk or think this way? If you have an omniscient narrator, ask yourself, would my narrator really talk or think this way? Get rid of your words and replace it with something only your character or narrator could replace it with.

dialogue diarrhea

• when characters talk the reader to death. This could be six, seven, eight, nine full pages of back-to-back converations. Or it could simply be a conversation that covers everything from the how are you’s to the see you later’s. Like completely raw unedited dialogue.
• Solution? If you find yourself unable to stop the talking, learn how to narrate the talking. Fast forward. Skip over. Study conversation in published books. See how it’s done. If you can only see scenes as conversations, try to break it up. Start with narration, go to live scenes with conversation, go back to narration. Throw in some thoughts. Whatever. Balance out narration with live scene. Too much yammering gets old. Too much narration gets old. Even in movies, you’ll notice there is a mix of blabbing and doing before, during, and after conversations. Dialogue and narration is a dance. As is everything else in writing a book. BALANCE.

melodrama

• This is when you see the hot tears stream down someone’s face. The tissues come out. The character is pounding the walls and shouting for his dead mother. Basically anything from one of those after-school specials. That is not to say you can’t do a great emotional scene with fist-pounding and tear-streaming, but there is a thin line between drama and melodrama.
• Solution? Find ways to touch on the emotion. Less is more, once again. When your characters are pushed to the brink, see if you might be doing too much to convey the intense emotion. Intense emotion does not require intense writing. You’ll find the most emotional scenes show the feeling in unique ways that totally come from the characters themselves. Sometimes tears don’t mean anything for a really sad scene. An action with meaning might be all the boo-hooing you’ll need.

What’s the big idea here?

The main idea of each of these issues is to keep your characters real and interesting. No matter how ridiculous or over the top your story is. Thoughts, actions, and dialogue should be a) motivated (logical to the reader) and b) edited so the reader can read the book without getting bored, or overly tired, emotionally irritated, etc., Also c) making your characters unique gives the illusion they’re more interesting and thus more memorable (and authentic!).

When you revise your book, I hope you’ll use these common issues as a checklist. It’s easy to fall into any one of these traps just to get your book done. Pay attention to what your characters do, say, and think. And remember: character development is only one aspect of writing a good story. There’s also plot, setting, and writing mechanics to worry about.

Read more articles in the Revision 9-1-1 series, http://www.cynthealiu.com/category/revision.

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Here is where you get to benefit even more from the fruits of my labor. You know all those free-tiques I do? After a while, I notice tendencies among you writers. I’ve seen some of the “issues” enough I’ve given them special names.

• Are you guilty of hammer-head?
• Are you an -ing addict? Or a serial when-or-as killer?
• Do you overwrite, under-write? Lose all sense of mind, body and space when it comes to setting?

Don’t get me wrong: all the free-tique manuscripts I see contain some pretty decent writing. Why? If you’ve found me, chances are you are dedicated to your craft. You actively participate in many of our clandestine activities on the Internet. You read. You write. You want this. But no matter where you are in this field (published or unpublished, award-winner or not), you’ve also done something in your work which might require a little revision 9-1-1.

Over the next couple of weeks, I’ll be doing a series of articles on revision. Inside these posts, I’ll list the most common issues I’ve seen in manuscripts today and offer suggestions on how to fix them.

• read post, revision 9-1-1 for novels: characters
• read post, revision 9-1-1 for novels: plot
• read post, revision 9-1-1 for novels: setting and description
• read post, revision 9-1-1 for fiction picture books
• read post, revision 9-1-1: writing mechanics

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Let me clear up a myth about talking animals. You might have heard it before. “You shouldn’t write about talking animals. That’s a big no-no.” Yet you see hundred of books come out, starring them. What gives?

According to some, talking animals are hard to do. So? What if you’re a natural at it? Does that mean you shouldn’t write them? (Snoop says, “Heck no!”) There is one word of caution though when it comes to writing novel-length talking animal books. Finding an editor or agent who will openly admit they like to work with novel-length talking animal books is difficult. They RARELY advertise their secret love for yapping giraffes because so many anthropomorphic stories are written poorly. BUT if this is your passion, you must write your book anyway. And be on a serious lookout for editors/agents who have worked with them before.

I also think a lot of people get caught up on the “no talking animal” rule when it comes to picture books since a ton of PBs feature animals. But have no fear. If your characters must have four legs, write away. Most editors (if their house publishes talking animal books) won’t even blink when they see you’ve written something about an alligator who’s lost his wooby. Or you may leave the text open-ended and the editor can decide if she wants to make the children humans or reptiles. But please don’t stop yourself from writing stories with animals in them because you read or heard that was a no-no. Write what you love to write and write it as well as you would any book.

[Read my story, I dared to write a talking animal book->I dared to write a talking animal book] if you like to be entertained.

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