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BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
ADOPTED TEEN JOURNEYS TO CHINA
GIRL TAKES DARE… *GASP*
NEW ENTRANTS: Wanna play? Read the rules here.
EVERYONE: Round 2 is officially open until Sunday, March 9, 6pm CST.
UPDATE: Do not send submissions for Kissy’s review to Cynthea’s email address, unless you are inquiring about an issue. The sub address listed in the rules is the ONLY email address for submissions to RLGL for Kissy’s review. If you fail to send it there, it will not get reviewed in the correct order for the round. In fact, you will probably miss the round if it does not make it to that address in time for the deadlines.
You do not need to include previous text with your page 2. Kissy has a great memory and this slows him down when trying to find his place. And we don’t want to slow this pup down!
If you receive a number for Round 2, please wait for results to post and wait until they are COMPLETE before inquiring about it. This helps us a lot!
UPDATES (PLEASE READ IN FULL):
If I received your submission by 9AM CST on March 6, your results have been posted. If you did not receive a number and you did turn in your submission to the sub address before the aforementioned deadline, please email me at cynthealiu AT gmail DOT com, and forward your email submission that you sent AND explain what’s wrong.
*Do not send new submissions to Cynthea’s personal email address, only inquiries if something is wrong.*
Round 1 closed at 9AM CST on March 6. Round 2 is open until March 9, 6PM CST.
Results for Round 2 will appear in a new post, not this one. So make sure you are refreshing the home page at www.wfcat.com to see any new posts.
For those of you who submitted after the Round 1 deadline, your submission will be part of Round 2 results. If you are part of Round 2 and have not received a number, that is because Kissy has not assigned it yet. So please DO NOT REPLY to what you already sent, asking about your number because that will change the order in which Kissy reads your email, causing him to miss it for the round you are supposed to be in.
It is so important that you continue to wait until the post says the results are COMPLETE for your round before you email and ask Kissy what when wrong, if you felt something has. To do so prior to the round will really screw up his focus and recordkeeping. So please hold all emails until the round is COMPLETE.
This post on this website will say the word COMPLETE, very clearly in the headline.
Also, if you have an * next to your result for your number that means that Kissy’s paw is twitching. He’s tempted to send you back to the starting line to present a different work. So make sure your next page is even better than the last, if you can improve upon it. If no asterisk appears, it means that Kissy wants to see what happens on the next page, but it does NOT mean two paws up, way to go! necessarily.
So keep your eye on the fuzzy tennis ball and do not let your writing or story slip. No asterisk just means that he will turn the page.
|RLGL||Format||Back to Start||Send Next Page||Notes|
|2||YA||X*||Feels a shade overwritten. Try not to narrate every minor movement to this level of excrutiating detail. Use touches where it’s important. Forget the rest.|
|3||PB||X*||Story feels a bit older for the picture book market|
|6||PB||X*||Hoping this will not read like a punch-line|
|7||PB||X*||Not usual PB fare, this one may be a tough one to market, given the characters, but let’s see where this go. Well-written/vivid.|
|8||PB||X||Interesting idea, but the MC did not seem compelling to follow. Consider shortening the intro. A bit repetitive.|
|9||MG||X*||Circle the # of physical actions in this 1/2 page. Give me what’s important. It’s a bit frenetic to read.|
|10||PB||X*||Seems long and wordy for a PB opening. Hmm…|
|11||PB||X*||Concerned this premise has been done recently several times, but maybe this one’s execution is even better. Let’s hope!|
|12||PB||X*||A bit hard to understand for a PB audience, but let’s see where this goes.|
|13||YA||X*||Not the strongest start for YA in terms of content, but let’s see where this goes.|
|14||PB||X||It’s not the concept as much as it is the notion that this animal would not eat what she wants so desperately to have, preface this early on if it’s nonsensical for the species so the reading is more comfortable.|
|15||PB||X||Premise wasn’t right for this pooch, but try again with another story!|
|17||PB||X||This reads older in style and age of the MC for PB audience; also need a more compelling opening. This feels a bit every-dayish.|
|18||PB||X||This would definitely fit chapter book format better for voice and situation, when compared to the typical picture book.|
|19||PB||X||Premise did not seem appealing for this pooch. Try again with another story!|
|20||PB||X||Difficult to follow what was happening.|
|21||PB||X||Concept seems workable, but execution felt flat. Commonplace scenarios in PBs could stand to be more fictionalized to make this more compelling.|
|23||PB||X||Premise wasn’t right for this pooch, but try again with another story! Nice humor though|
|24||PB||X*||Great title but execution feels mature for PB audience. The pooch will give it another page because the concept is great. Let’s see where this goes|
|25||PB||X||Mixed feelings on this premise. Seemed cute but oddly violent? at the same time. A few tweaks should fix this|
|26||MG||X*||This seems fun, but the pooch is not that into the species of the MC. However, he is curious to see what happens next.|
|27||PB||X*||This premise is giving Kissy flashbacks. Slightly concerned that this is reading a bit darker than it should as an opening for a PB.|
|28||PB||X*||This is probably not every editor’s cup of tea, but we want to see what happens next|
|29||PB||X||While well-written, for the PB format this reads a bit too much like a longer work, given the narrative style. Also, very every-dayish too, that it doesn’t immediately demand the pooch’s attention|
|30||YA||X*||A bit confusing which way she’s going, why, and time of day.|
|31||PB||X||We think we may have seen this one before, but regardless the premise feels every-dayish / like typical from kids and their imaginations versus something that’s fictionalized|
|32||PB||X||Concept seems too loose, given the species and what they are talking about. Motivate your choice of animal. Also as an opener, this is quite chatty.|
|33||PB||X||While quite realistic, this felt like a commonplace/veryday situation and doesn’t quite make for a unique and grabbing PB opener. The style also leans toward something more commonly seen in longer works.|
|34||PB||X||This was also another PB that opened with a fairly commonplace situation. This could be pushed a lot further to make it standout better among the competition.|
|RLGL||Format||Back to Start||Send Next Page||Notes|
|35||PB||X*||Feels like the animal species was picked at random, switching up the situations to match the species better would make this a lot stronger. Good PB topic. Let’s see if the next part really comes together.|
|36||YA||X||Man, Kissy really want to like this more, but because the piece was difficult to comprehend upon first scan and then required another slow re-read to truly understand what was happening, it got sent back to start. Imagine that overworked editor at the desk, wanting to take the next subway home and it’s already 8pm. Make sure your first page is clear. A pooch shouldn’t have to work so hard. Do not sacrifice clarity and story for the sake of the writing.|
|37||PB||X||Couldn’t quite connect with the premise. And there’s a lot to follow in 125 words. Concept also feels a bit loose.|
|39||YA||X*||This feels like it’s trying a little too hard to establish the character’s distinguishing physical straight. We could probably get the same idea with only 20% of the words use so we can get to the setup faster. Also if the character sounds a bit hyperfocused in this way, it makes her seem one-dimensional, which I don’t believe is the actual case.|
|40||YA||X*||Interesting. But watch for things like casting eyes around as if they are being thrown around. Also you have an “eye” echo in the first two lines. Simple fix. But opening lines are important so I’m bringing this up.|
|41||PB||X*||We have to be careful of always making mom appear so early in a PB if Mom is just going to be standard Mom talking standard Mom-talk – I only say this because it’s tempting to do that when a child has a problem, but it also makes your manuscript start to read like so many manuscripts Kissy gets. So make sure your opening lines don’t sound like everyone else’s if you can help it.|
|42||YA||X*||There’s some awwkardness in the writing but easily fixed, however if it gets worse, you might get the paw. So watch your words carefuly. Be careful of narrating every physical action to the point that it feels reportly.|
|43||ER||X*||This feels like it’s being pitched for the wrong format. PB may be much more suitable. Let’s see what happens next.|
|44||YA||X*||This feels a bit everywhere- the disparate elements in such a short span seems a bit hard to put together. However, I will read on to see if it comes together a bit better. This may not be the best opening for your book.|
|45||MG||X*||Explain why he gets such a special privilege, this better be in the next few lines. Answer questions for the reader when the reader would raise the question if the answer is something the character would know and you’ve setup the proper context to answer it. In other words, don’t frustrate your reader.|
|46||PB||X||This feels commonplace/ slice of life-ish. Again, it’s well written for a short story, but for a major trade publisher PB, it needs to really stand out story-wise – illustration-wise. I think the premise is good, but the execution could be re-envisioned to make it much stronger.|
|47||PB||X||This felt a little old for a picture book, especially if the children are writing such vivid letters. Consider reshaping your character for a longer work.|
|48||PB||X||Check out other comments about everyday situations and also Mom appearing so early in the manuscript saying Mom-like things. While it’s possible to open a PB this way, it can start to look like everything else quite quickly. This premise is also very common and a good one because children are so like this!, however execution needs to truly be unique to make this stand-out better as a PB manuscript.|
|49||PB||X||Same comment as 48′s. Except in this case it’s Dad playing standard-Dad. Again, good premise, execution needs to stand-out for this pooch.|
|51||PB||X||See comments 48 and 49. Great subject; need unique execution of the subject or this will not demand the pooch’s attention.|
|52||PB||X*||This seems to take the long route to drive a point home but let’s see what happens next. Will this be more than just a book about what her problem is? Or is there more to this?|
|53||MG||X||Hard to understand what the set-up or premise might be in this first 1/2 page. Reconsider your opening to draw the pooch in.|
|54||PB||X*||I would rework the title, interesting concept.|
|55||YA||X*||This reads like MG, versus YA as an opener, but let’s see where this goes|
|57||MG||X*||Dialogue feels a bit forced. Considered using interior dialogue instead.|
|58||PB||X*||Using a common household item to describe where this animal sleeps seems a bit odd. I’d rework? Feels forced in the rhyme.|
|59||MG||X*||Be careful, feels a shade overwritten which is effecting the story’s ability to get to the point. Tighten|
|60||PB||X||First 125 words please. Resubmit first 125 words into the next round.|
|61||PB||X*||Concerned about the premise, but enjoy the humor. Tighten. This is pretty wordy.|
|62||YA||X*||This feels a bit melodramatic as an opener and is a pretty common kind of beginning. I’d rework your opening lines to make this sound more unique as a story starter|
|63||YA||X||Watch for the animal-action references – once is fine, twice seems a little odd given the context and location. Minor comment/easy fix.|
|64||PB||X||Did not know what to make of this. Seems very long for a PB text, given how little was covered in 125 words. Also hard to follow what exactly is important for the story? The writing style seems better suited for a longer work.|
|65||MG||X*||The first few lines feel tacked on, compared to the rest.|
|66||MG||X*||Set the main character. A bit confusing to read. A lot being conveyed in 125 words so it’s important to make sure the pooch can picture this better.|
|67||PB||X||This has potential but doesn’t go far enough to feel like the execution is strong enough. Gotta make the resolution much more clever. We don’t want this to read like a punchline. It needs to have bit more depth as a story. (Meaning)|
|68||YA||X*||Definitely rework this opening; there’s so much focus on interior decorating, it breaks character. What is your MC’s true focus as she hears what’s going on? Would she really describe ALL of these things in the way that she has in such a short span, given what is happening at the moment?|
|70||PB||X*||Very odd premise, not sure what to make of this, but I’ll see what happens next.|
|71||PB||X||Could not understand what was happening in the story and what the specific conflict might be for the characters. Kissy is scratching his head over here.|
|72||MG||X*||The shift in time is a little awkward. Smooth that out or begin where the story truly begins.|
|73||PB||X||The story didn’t feel compelling enough to keep this pup’s interest. It’s got a very every-dayish kind of feel to it and he wonders what the theme of this book is. Does not feel like it has a strong takeaway, either. PB manuscripts need to stand out to get noticed. Go bigger with your storytelling.|
|75||PB||X||Could not connect with the premise. Feels slight and punch-liney. Great humor though, just wish the story felt more substantial.|
|76||YA||X*||This feels overwritten – strive for clarity. The logic is a bit circular and I’m left wondering what I’m supposed to truly gain from these 125 words.|
|77||MG||X*||See 76. See if you can keep the time linear in this opening so it’s less confusing. This is in the present, then in the past, this in the present again so quickly. Jarring|
|78||PB||X||Execution feels a bit loose. Motivate the circumstances better, explain why your MC has this problem more clearly. And why would the second creature even bother helping. Also be mindful that these creatures aren’t very familiar to the PB audience.|
|80||YA||X*||Watch the overwriting. Whenever you have inanimate objects performing actions that humans would do, It often sounds awkward, especially if done multiple times in succesion. Simplify the writing for clarity’s sake. Too often writers overwrite their first lines, which gives the feeling of “trying too hard.”|
|81||PB||X*||This feels very wordy for a PB, but the pooch wants to see what happens next. Tighten the writing.|
|82||PB||X||See 48. While stories about real-life imaginings are fun, stories that we make up that sound real, given the context of the story, even though we know it has to be made up is “fiction.” This texts reads more like non-fiction about fiction because we could easily do this on our own today as children and parents. But what about the stuff we cannot do as children? What about the characters and situations that are completely made-up that we will not ever see in real-life today? Stories like those stand out better as PB fiction. that’s not to say that this doesn’t have merit, but countless others have written this story in some fashion or another. In terms of major trade publisher thinking, this is something to consider when compared to your competition.|
|83||PB||X||Execution feels a bit loose and for this age group, a lot of kiddo’s don’t quite get the kind of place they live in, just yet. However, if you set this up better, it could work.|
|84||ER||X||This does not fit an ER fomat. e.g. controlled vocabulary, sentence structure, etc. This reads like something from a longer work.|
|85||MG||X*||Need better context as to what the quest is so I’m not left confused about why this is important to the MC|
|86||PB||X||Unfortunately, we’ve seen this storyline before multiple times. It’s a good concept, however the execution feel wordy and a bit every-dayish as an opener. Can we find a more zippy and distintive way to write this story?|
|87||PB||X*||This feels a bit mature and the premise odd, but I’ll see where this goes.|
|88||YA||X||This seems a bit forced as an opening. What motivates the MC to be awake earlier than usual? To give the writer a chance to layout the setting and see who is coming in? Seems kind of obvious to the point that this doesn’t feel natural. I’d rework the opening so that the character’s and their actions feel much more motivated.|
|89||PB||X||Didn’t connect with the premise. Also seems to take the long route to get to the potential conflict and why the reader should empathize or care.|
|90||CB||X*||The first line seems like a bait and switch. Try not to do this. If she doesn’t really have this gift, then don’t give the impression of this on line one, only to make her sound ordinary again a few lines later.|
|93||YA||X*||Feels a shade overwritten. Check out the third line and count the number of words before it gets to the subject and verb of the sentence. Also the shift from present to past to present in three lines feels forced as well. Easy fixes but worth doing if these are your opening lines.|
|94||PB||X||Could not connect with the premise. Feels a bit uninmportant as an opener. Why does this matter? Why should the reader care? Wish the story felt more substantial in these opening line.|
|95||PB||X||This reads a bit older for the PB crowd, given the voice of the M.C. Also this feels a bit every-dayish too for a major trade PB.|
|98||PB||X*||Very wordy for a PB and the point is made more than enough. Tighten the writing and increase the pace. Not a lot of plot is covered in these 125 words and it makes me wonder if this one is a bit long overall.|
|99||PB||X*||Feels a bit wordy so tighten the writing and make the opener sound like something is at stake. It seems like it doesn’t really matter at all. Hmmm… Rework|
|100||PB||X*||I like this premise, but the execution feels a bit ordinary. How can you make this text more fun to read, zippier? More charming?|
|101||PB||X||Was not compelled by the premise. A bit too gross for this pup. And the way this presented feels slight?|
|102||PB||X||Interesting way to use the format, however how can you make this book have more market value? (Emotional value, social value, or educational value) so it does not come off as slight.|
|103||MG||X||These opening lines are awkward to read, jam-packed with description where inanimate objects are doing all the actions. It isn’t until the next graph that we even see a character appear. Tell more, by describing less. Move the story forward as you “paint” the scene in with setting. Resist dumping it all in like this in the first few lines.|
|105||PB||X*||The rhyme is not coming in as strong as it could, but curious to see where this goes.|
|106||PB||X*||Watcht the rhyme. A few stumbles.|
|107||MG||X*||Feel a bit left out of the MC’s head while he’s doing all of these things.|
|108||PB||X||Don’t quite understand the premise and where this is headed. Title feels a a little old for PB audience too.|
|109||PB||X*||Wish I understood the significance of each custom as they are addressed. That would improve this story a lot.|
|110||PB||X||This feels like it should be a longer work, given the style. Also a bit too everydayish for a major trade PB text.|
|111||PB||X||Didn’t quite follow what was happening until the second read. And even then it seems a bit too loose when put together for this pup. Try a different work!|
|113||PB||X||This felt a bit everyday-ish. True to life, but what makes this story truly stand out as a fiction picture book? Can you write this story in a way that moves away from real-life and into larger-than-life PB fiction?|
|114||PB||X||Rhyme is not quite coming in a as well as it could, but overall, the story felt a bit light in content. Go for bigger purpose/meaning with these characters pr higher educational value to make it more marketable.|
|115||PB||X||This feels a bit too episodic and talks about imagination versus being a truly cohesive story in itself. Shark Vs. Train is a good example of imagination in progress with somewhat of a story-line to follow and educational value as well. It, too, is episodic but use that for a reference when you think about upping the market value of your work.|
|116||YA||X*||A bit mysterious in an almost frustrating way so I hope this is all explained in the next lines or I will be left with a big, say what?|
|117||NA||X||The time sequence of these opening lines for the sake of foreshadowing is a bit hard to follow. It goes from present, to referring to the future, back to the present, then a reference to the future, then back to the present, then back to the future then to the past. PHEW. Not worth it. Rethink your opening. Don’t try this hard to compel your reader.|
|118||PB||X||The premise seems slight, not significant enough to carry a picture book. The opening lines also feel light on story as well.|
|119||MG||X*||Opening feels a bit rushed. Not sure I understand how everyone relates to another and where the main characters are in relation to everything else.|
|120||MG||X||The way these opening lines read feels so impersonal and generic. Can we liven up these opening lines? Make this feel more real. Perhaps use names, internal monologue for the main character, etc? Bring me into the story. Resist just reporting the facts.|
|122||PB||X||Could not connect with the premise. Feels slight and punch-liney. Needs to have more market value as a major trade PB concept.|
|123||PB||X||This feels really casual/every-dayish. Is this enough to carry a PB? These opening lines do not feel distinctive enough. Consider the theme of your story and see if there is a way to fictioanlize this even more so that it does not start to read like a lot of other manuscripts Kissy chews on.|
Wowowow! Kissy has a lot of entries to gnaw on and he thanks you in advance for the glowing compliments. Please don’t hold it against him if he eats your ms.
Hang tight. We will post results gradually as we go through them. Do not email to ask about your result until we declare that all results have been posted. Doing so may subject you to complete elimination since it really screws up our mojo if we spend more time answering emails than reading submissions.
Also, if you miss a deadline, you may submit after the deadline to roll it into the next round. You just cant submit to the round that closed. We’re sorry if we weren’t clear on that. But do not expect a number assignment until after results have been posted for the round you missed.
So sorry to everyone for the delay. I was having major technical issues with the site. I hope they are mostly resolved but this will be the true test.
Let’s see if we can make it through RLGL now that everything has been upgraded on the backend (we hope!).
So without further ado ….
Hello WFCAT fans!
Please read this post in full before sending anything.
It’s your favorite time of the year again: RED LIGHT, GREEN LIGHT is here! This is the game where only a handful of people win, but everyone wins!
All contestants will receive some feedback on their entries, regardless of win!
Entrants will also be eligible to receive a client referral from Kissy to Jen Rofe of Andrea Brown Literary Agency, one of the best children’s lit agencies in the world.
Show us what you got! Play the game, and you never know, your work may be paw-selected by Kissy for Jen to have a second peek. You may know that the agents at ABLA work as a team, so even if your work may not be right for Jen, she could refer you to another agent.
Now keep in mind that Jen will not give your work special treatment just because you happen to know her client’s pooch. Your work has to be right for her. You must be able to deliver the goods that she’s looking for. Kissy can only take a guess as to what that is, but he’ll do his best to highlight some of the most promising submissions to her. Think of Kissy as Jen’s first reader. If he gives it a tail wag, Jen will make sure she looks at it in case Kissy has found that teeny bone in the haystack!
All work submitted to RLGL will be considered for referral. You must be selected though, so don’t go contacting Ms. Rofe saying the dog sent you. The referral has to come from the pup himself (and we promise, we’ll ask you for permission first before we tell Jen.) We hope this stokes many of you on to keep trying with RLGL. Don’t give up. Remember, this game is a lot like the real world out there. Expect lots of rejection and keep a thick skin. All you’re trying to do is write, revise, and find that perfect match!
Good luck! Yipppp-eeee!
HERE ARE THE RULES:
Last time, you all helped Kissy raise a great chunk of change for PAWS and saved hundreds of lives of dogs and kitties. This year, I am not going to guilt a single one of you into doing anything for anyone. HOWEVER, Kissy always appreciates 1) compliments about his luscious wiry fur, 2) virtual chew toys or 3) bacon!, so feel free to drop any ego-massaging and treat donations in the comments.
Now that Kissy is satisfied with making sure you all know this, I will really move on to the rules.
AGAIN, PLEASE READ IN FULL BEFORE SENDING ANYTHING.
How does it work?
- Kissy stands at one end of the playground. You and your fellow contestants at the other. You begin when Kissy says, Arroo! (That means “Green Light!”)
- All contestants enter the first-half-page (125 words max) of any children’s FICTION work (PB, ER, CB, MG, YA) before the round deadline.
- When Kissy says, Arf! (“Red Light!”), he stops to sniff everyone’s submission. If he finds something not to his liking, he will point a paw toward the starting line, and you start again with the first half-page of a different work. (We must also have not seen some version of the work ourselves before. Only works that are NOT ACTIVELY with an agent or editor are submittable. For example, if an agent has given you feedback on the work and is awaiting your revision, do not submit that work. If the work is sitting in a slush pile somewhere and you have not received a response yet, you MAY submit that work. )
- The results of each round are posted anonymously (you will receive an entry # for your submission and an X will appear by your number when results are posted. Your X will send you back to start or pass you to the next round. )
- If Kissy lets you pass to the next round, you wait for him to say, “Arrooo!” Green Light! again, then you submit your next FULL page in the manuscript (250 words max.)
- Kissy will continue to judge all works in each round until a contestant gets all pages of his picture book or easy reader past Kissy. That contestant wins in the short-work category. First contestant to reach eight pages of her CB, MG, or YA novel wins in the longer-work category.
- Winners receive a FREE-TIQUE 30-min PHONE CONSULT from moi (a $75 value), and there may be more GREAT surprises in store that you will love as the game continues.
- Kissy will also be giving short feedback on entries when eliminated, regardless of the entrant’s standing in the race. That means EVERYONE WHO ENTERS will receive some input about his/her work. Your work will not be shared with anyone besides Cynthea and Kissy.
- Contestants may enter at ANY TIME. Miss a round? No biggie. Join in on the next but always start with your first 1/2 page (125 words max).
Are you ready to rumble?! To participate in this free-tique round, please read the rest of this, I mean it, IN FULL, before doing anything.
WHAT TO DO NEXT:
1) Optional: Tell Kissy how handsome he is, make virtual treat donations. Can’t hurt, right?
2) By submitting your work, you agree to the solemn Critiquee Oath.
The Solemn Critiquee Oath
- I shall not shed a single tear upon reading the results of my free-tique
- I shall remember I am asking for only one opinion. That is all.
- I shall not take any comments personally as Kissy can be a pretty tough little canine to please.
- I shall allow Kissy the opportunity to gnaw on the ms if he so wishes.
2) Please make sure you title your emails correctly in the SUBJECT LINE of your emails, not the body of the email. DO NOT ATTACH WORK. Paste it in. Do not attempt to format your work in the email. Kissy is great at reading emails in hieroglyphics.
3) Email your first 125 words to SUB at WFCAT dot COM. That is considered P. 1. *Title the email (IN THE SUBJECT LINE) with the page number, book type (i.e., PB, ER, CB, MG, YA), and manuscript title to help Kissy keep track, like so (P. 1, PB, If You Give a Pooch a Mailman).
4) After the deadline for each round has passed, please wait patiently as Kissy reads your entry and gives you an entry number for the work. Your entry number will be used to conceal your identity when results are revealed. We do not know when Kissy will deliver results for each round, but it will probably occur within the first 24-48 hours after a round deadline. Results will be posted here at http:www.writingforchildrenandteen.com.
5) Check www.writingforchildrenandteens.com for updates. You will not receive email notifications about the rounds because we don’t want to flood people’s inboxes for those who are not playing. So check www.wfcat.com often (refresh the page) for the latest updates, results and deadlines. Look for your X by your #. Check to see which column it is in. Go back to start as instructed OR advance to the next round. If you do not see your number or feel something is wrong, double-check that you followed the rules precisely before contacting Kissy. If you still feel like the pooch must have been preoccupied by his continual quest for bacon, then drop him a note and let us know. Wait patiently for a response.
Next, Kissy will say “Green” again with a new round deadline. If your entry was sent back to the starting line, you start over with a NEW work. First 125 words (half-page). Correctly titled in the subject line. Don’t title your next submission with the previous entry’s number. If, however, your entry passed the round, you email the next FULL page (250 words) of your competing entry. This time you title the email with your ENTRY #, like so. (e.g. #75, P.2, PB, If You Give a Pooch a Mailman)
6) Play continues until winners have been identified in BOTH categories, and the final round has been announced. If you enter after someone has already won in your category, you may still enter out of curiosity to see how far you can get and also for Kissy’s feedback on that entry.
7) All free-tiques won will be returned at Kissy’s earliest convenience. His schedule is quite full with so much begging to do at the table, but he will get back to you as soon as he can. Referrals will be decided after RLGL is over.
THIS RACE COULD LAST FOR DAYS, MAYBE WEEKS, depending on how things play out. So get ready for one of the most exciting games of your writing life!
8) You should plan to send something off prior to each deadline so you can keep up with your competition. However, you may not send extra pages in advance of round deadlines. There are no makeups and there are no advanced submittals, regardless of cause. If you miss a round though; don’t worry, elimination can happen to any of your competitors at any point in the game.
9) YOU MAY ENTER AT ANY TIME and ENTER A DIFFERENT WORK while the game is on and doors are open. Only one entry per round though.
10) Help us spread the word on Fbook, Twitter, and wherever else you live and blog. The more participants there are, the more likely the game will go on.
11) The most important rule of all: breaking any one of the rules will make you subject to complete elimination from RLGL. Don’t screw this up!
Now are you ready?
Remember: Check the latest RLGL postings on the homepage (refresh the website) for results and updates. Follow the submission rules, make the deadlines, and you’re in. Woof!
Don’t want to play?
Just want a paid critique instead? Visit www.writingforchildrenandteens.com/critiques for full details.
Job Title & Company Information:
2013-Bloomsbury Publishing PLC, Assistant Editor
For those of you who have a keen interest in developing literature or other media featuring Asian content, you should know about this conference held each year in Singapore. I had the wonderful opportunity to act as a faculty member last year, and it was an eye-opening experience to meet counterparts in the East from all over that side of the globe. Consider attending this conference! You will gain a broader, more global perspective about children’s literature and develop a profound appreciation for our creative counterparts in the East, who share a love of literature and the development of media for children, regardless of where the children live, in the East or the West.
From the AFCC’s Press Release:
Asian Festival of Children’s Content 2013
Premier event starring Asian Content for the World’s Children taking off with The National Library Singapore
The National Book Development Council of Singapore, partnering with The National Library of Singapore for the first time, presents the ASIAN FESTIVAL OF CHILDREN’S CONTENT 2013 from May 25 to 30.( www.afcc.com.sg)
The Asian Festival of Children’s Content (AFCC) is back this year with six days of packed programmes highlighting emerging trends, challenges and effective methodologies for those interested in Asian Content for Children. With some of the world’s top experts and most successful talents in the field invited to share their insights at the following events, delegates can expect to encounter opportunities that can bring their work to the next level and enhance their long-term success.
The interest in Asian content for children is reflected in the size of AFCC Media Mart, which will be the biggest in AFCC history. A larger venue at The National Library of Singapore had to be booked to accommodate the additional booths for vendors.
Kenneth Quek, Festival said, “This year, AFCC not only introduces new initiatives but also expands on existing ones, addressing both the demands of industry players as well as professionals who continue to display a keen interest in Asian Content for their children. These events help us further our mission of being a platform for the creation, production, publication and distribution of children’s materials with Asian content to children worldwide.”
An inaugural programme for the 2013 festival will be the AFCC Seminars, which will focus on Young Adult literature, translation and blogging this year. Product launches are also being introduced.
The following Programmes will comprise AFCC 2013:
- 25 May – AFCC Preschool & Primary Teachers Congress
- 26 May – AFCC Parents Forum
- 27 May – AFCC Seminars
- 28 & 29 May – AFCC Writers & Illustrators Conference
- 29 May – AFCC Media Summit
- 30 May – AFCC Masterclasses
To learn more, visit http://afcc.com.sg.
*UPDATE: All query crits submitted before the deadline have been returned. If your query was turned in on time and you did not receive reply, please contact me directly!
Happy Holidays! My apologies for the delay with free-tiques associated with RLGL. I’m a bit backlogged at the moment so please enjoy your holidays while I get through all of the tiques. Thank you! Woof!
If you are a free-tique winner for novels, please submit up to ten pages (max 2500 words) of your work for critique to sub at wfcat dot com, attached as a word document. You may also include a synopsis. The synopsis will be read for content to help inform my critique. It will not be critiqued itself. Title your email: Free-tique Winner #XXX: MS Title, Format. E.g. “Free-tique Winner #999, MY MS ROCKS, MG”.
If you are a free-tique winner of a PB/Board book – please submit your entire manuscript as a Word Document to sub at wfcat dot com. Title your email: Free-tique Winner #XXX: MS Title, Format E.g. “Free-tique Winner #001 MY PB ROCKS, PB”.
If you are a Round 7 entrant, please PASTE the body f your query letter, single-spaced (no more than 250 words) in an email to query at wfcat dot com. Title your email: Query: Round 7 #XXX, MS Title, Format. E.g. “Query: Round 7 #704, PITCHING IN, YA”
All free-tiques and quick-crits of query letters will be completed my the end of November, roughly. If you do not receive a response by then, please feel free to email me checking for status. You must turn in your query letters and free-tiques by November 5th.
Agent Referrals: You will receive an email directly from me notifying you of the referral so you don’t have to check the website. I imagine those will be done over the course of this week and next. When referrals are complete, your # will be posted here.
Thank you, everyone, for your supports of PAWS and RLGL! Until we play again!
Cynthea and Kissy
Hi Everyone, Round 10 Results are COMPLETE … Page-Off 2 winner is ….. #237! Everyone who is waiting to figure out how to redeem prizes, we will need until next week to work out the delivery of prizes and so on. There’s a lot going on this week for us, so we appreciate your continued patience. Check back here next Monday for more details!
Because this is the last round, DO NOT send in any more pages, even if I labeled the column Go.
# Type Go Stop Notes
|12||YA||X||Overall, I would have read more. I would like to see her talk about something positive that she might want for herself (like a desire/want) versus what she doesn’t want. Please give me something to hang my hat on so I know what I’m rooting for.|
|40||MG||X*||Make it much more clear what the MC is going to be trying to get for herself in these opening pages. Right now, I’m not sure if her character trait Is just part of the story or CENTRAL to the story. Hmm….. I think it needs to be clearer -what will this story be tackling exactly?|
|60||MG||Fun to read. I’ve enjoyed this one, interesting concept.|
|61||YA||X||I’m a bit concerned that this book did not set itself up for magic up front. Also be mindful of forcing in details where the context doesn’t seem to motivate the detail. There are several facts in her that seem pretty irrelevant to what’s going on when you consider what she just discovered. Would her mind really be focused on those minor details about the parent, etc?|
|307||MG||X*||Overall, I think that the story starter could have begun a bit sooner, given the pacing of this first chapter… I’m a bit on the fence about this one because I felt like I should have known more about the potential plot in this many pages… So consider how this chapter could be tightened to really get at the heart of what this journey may be like for the reader|
|313||MG||X*||I’m a bit concerned that this book doesn’t feel well-rounded enough. There doesn’t seem to be subplots. Just a primary plot and it also doesn’t have a positive want coming from your MC - when thinking about your MC, what does the MC want in your book (not what does he NOT want). I want to root for him.|
|407||PB||x||I feel this needs a lot of tightening to fit a picture book format better but I do appreciate the charm of this character and the kid sensibility so far. Read revision 911 for picture books on wfcat. com for some revision tips to shorten this piece|
|500||MG||X||I like the voice, would keep reading. But definitely watch the language in an MG like this.|
|517||MG||X*||The writing is pretty strong, needs a little more control here and there, but I am intrigued by this setup and the character himself. Good work!|
|521||MG||X||Overall, I say this is a decent start (but I’m a bit concerned that it starts off in a fairly commonplace way without a real result. Consider reworking this so that you get to a a more prominent inciting incident. It’s too tempting to start where you did – if you start there, something should happen from it. You know?|
|528||MG||X||A fun start but I hope the reader gets a really good sense of the overall story in the coming pages otherwise, the whole opening will fill too deliberate (forced), as if to bait a reader with high-action – make sure you deliver the goods, too.|
|532||YA||X*||Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. I just hope that the change in behavior of the phenomena in question is motivated by something. It can’t be plucked from thin air so later it should be clear, why at that moment, things started getting different for your MC.|
|602||MG||X||Yes, this was a fun mystery. I do wish that the MC’s voice was a shade more memorable. Overall though, good work!|
|608||YA||X*||This is moving a bit slowly as nearly every detail is written on the page. I’d try to sharpen the focus where you want it and blur out the rest. Right now it seems like everything is on equal footing so it’s hard to know where to focus for story.|
|609||MG||X*||I’m a bit concerned that by this many pages, I still don’t have a clear idea of what this book might be about. I’d tighten this significantly. While the scifi part is intriguing, I still need more story to come across|
|615||CB||X||Hmmm, by this many pages, I needed a better idea of the dilemma this character is going to face. Instead I’m getting little bits of plot in ant-like doses as the story creeps along. I need broader strokes in the beginning so I get a better picture of the ride that is to come.|
|712||YA||X*||Be careful of the MC sounding too whiny and bitter. We still need to root for her so soften a bit. She can be upset, but there’s a fine line between upset and whiny/unpleasurable.|
|720||X||I was troubled by the depiction of the other characters. They felt a bit too stereotypical for me and I would have liked this book overall to exude more believability.|
|724||X||I think after this many pages, I couldn’t figure out what kind of book this was going to me. Some direction|
|807||PB||X||I think this is definitely quirky but has got something important to say. I enjoyed the humor, and felt this was different enough that I wondered how it would do in the marketplace. I would probably encourage you to push the theme a bit farther. Take this to greater heights so that the resolution becomes that much funnier.|
|900||PB||X*||Again this has a very good child-like sensibility to this. And there’s charm here. I keep wishing it were a bit shorter but as an opening it’s still got me intrigued.|
|903||PB||X||I enjoy your sense of humor but I’m not sure I’m getting a strong sense of what this story is really about from these pages.|
|906||ER||X||This next page has convinced me that this falls too far out of the range for an ER. The pacing is that of a longer work. I’d consider simplify this work a great deal. There is lots of charm to the writing though. I just wonder if this structure works as an ER.|
|907||PB||X||This is a very fun cumulative counting PB, I hope that it results in a powerful climax with a clever surprise/twist at the end.|
|910||PB||X*||I like the idea of this and I’m curious to see where this goes, however, I’m also a bit concerned that the MC seems a bit unfeeling (mean?) in this page…|
|912||PB||X||This definitely reads like it should be a chapter book, versus a PB. I would reconsider the format or revamp the execution so that it fits the PB format better.|
|913||YA||X||Even if this becomes more YA, it’s really important that you grab your teen reader on page 1. Nothing super huge has to happen but if this smells like a younger book, you’ll lose them before they even make it to cash register. I’d reconsider your opening.|
|914||PB||X||Still charming. A little tightening here and there but overall, I would have read the next page.|
|1000||PB||X*||Not so sure about the sidebars (you may want to consider having a factual end page so the story isn’t interrupted by sidebars. Like the subject matter just don’t make it too creepy (like in an Arachnophobia kind of way)|
|1001||YA||X*||I always get a little leery if the book opens with an adults as the main character|
|1002||PB||X||This felt a bit wordy for me and I questioned if the premise was universal enough. Hmmm.. Perhaps if the intro had been much shorter, I might have gotten to the heart of your story.|
|1003||PB||X||This premise wasn’t clear in the first half-page and I was concerned that the dialogue overtook what could have been great visuals. I wanted to see more story in this opener for a PB. Some hint that there will be a a great so-what.|
|1004||PB||X||Unfortuantely, I felt text-wise this sounded a bit too ominous in quality, and unfortunatetly the story itself is a bit predictable. I’ve seen this concept in a manuscript done several times. Probably because it is such a common thing that children and parents do. For this to work, this concept really has to be done in a very unique way to stand out. There need to be more market value and emotional value so it doesn’t feel too “everyday.”|
|1005||PB||X||Unfortunately, the premise didn’t feel “big” enough to carry a picture book. Perhaps a very simplified version of this might work as a board book. But in the end, as a pb, I was hoping for more. A bigger so-what.|
|1006||PB||X*||This feels like material for a chapter book versus MG, but it’s too soon to tell. Establish where they are if you can.|
Hello everyone, unfortunately, our Round 10 goal was not met, HOWEVER we see no reason to disappoint people, given all that you’ve done to help our furry friends. Kissy and I are going to keep the Round 10 and drop the Round 11 instead. The deadline to submit to Round 10 is tonight (9/24/2012 11:59pm CST). Please be patient with us on Round 10 results. It may not be until after October 1st before we get finished reading them all.
Ten is a good number anyway, and an even better number was the amount we raised for PAWS – $1810!!!
The walk was amazing. Kissy woke up early to go and he managed to do most of the 4k on his own. There were a few times he needed some help. But in the end the dog did it! Woof!
Thank you all so much for playing RLGL with us. You’ll also be happy to know that because we raised so much money, Kissy won a Wii! We are donating it to a women’s shelter or children’s hospital for the holidays. So feel good that some human kiddos will also benefit from all of your efforts.
Terrific job, everyone, and again, please stay tuned (October 2nd, roughly) for more information about all the prizes that were given out during this game and Round 10 results. We’ve got a lot to think about how we’re going to coordinate all of this, so please sit tight, and enjoy the rest of your week!
Also if anyone is considering a paid critique, this is a friendly reminder that the submission deadline for October is October 5th.
Walk on, folks! We’ll be in touch soon!